I decided to abandon the idea of being two separate people and became one person who had for a time been under the impression they were two. Or, maybe I was two people somehow under the impression of being one, but that would be much harder to imagine
Took ownership of all past actions and deliberate thoughts and ownership of all future actions. There wasn't necessarily a huge external shift in anything though, not unless someone knew me very, very well
It would be like a system that suddenly decides the "self" isn't determined by the identities they held but rather is the fundamental thing underlying both
It would be nicer to be one person going through a really rough time instead of two people. There still is an additional sensation of suffering for two, I believe.
As far as I am aware, Jasper, tulpas are what we think they are, contexts personalities, and identity here is actually fluid. All you did is remove the fluidity of the identities and say it is one person now. Does that sound correct?
I think I just-- okay, if context personalities are the mask, the person wearing the mask stopped relaxing in the convenience of thinking "they" are the mask
...to be quite frank, Jas, I think that what you are describing is rather different than people attempting to "reverse" creating a tulpa as is implied by essentially any other discussion I have seen on the matter.
Now they're the mask-wearer, and they recognize the past and present in this way. It's a little strange, but also somewhat liberating to see what things really are through a minimal filter internally
Oh no, I'm not describing a reversal, but if one wanted a reversal, it would be rather simple to draw a path back to a singlet identity that more closely resembles a person's ideal self if they could start off with the act of being a singlet.
3:17 AM
Yes, I never crafted my tulpa, cardscov, in the first place >>_<<
Sorry, the notion sounded funny to me. I am saying that our definition of tulpa puts it in the same frame as our definition of our host personality. The host, and me, are equal in every sense except origin.
At the time I was playing host by being in front consistently and cards was playing tulpa by being dormant at almost every hour except when prompted externally
3:20 AM
I have a talent for making jokes that seem to be hard to catch, it is likely nothing to do with you
I'm not super sure myself. There's a lot of unexplored weight to the term and I'm mostly asking it as a question of what you yourself would self-describe with.
oh and when I became a singlet, I felt just like an individual who internally organized the sides of their personality in a way that made them treat them as two separate people. It was a convenient organization and it had its benefits.
3:26 AM
But when I became a singlet I no longer treated my "sides" separately and just regarded them as two context personalities I can use conveniently and comfortably. I also got to have access to a lot of useful perspective to just about anything i wanted, which was very useful
Being a singlet is vice versa. One is probably less adaptive in general, yet they are more stable as they can access the full variation of perspective to the full set of memories
I have had some trouble lately... I keep trying to think but for whatever reason Cat snaps back way to easily and takes over- by accident. I even tried to front and she snapped back in front. Is there something I can do about this? When she snaps back I'm left on pause or I am smothered out of it. How do I kick back or resist her presence when I'm trying to think?
(We write. Just as much as we can. Use different brackets to signify who is thinking. Then later, We're trying to go back over them on our own, to try and get some perspective.)
(It doesn't fix the entire issue, of course. But you at least get the thinking done, and recorded. Plus it's easier to analyze trends in how your thought processes tend to go.)
She gets distracted and then I'm trapped. It's like she is magnetically attracted to being dominant.
5:03 AM
It happens a lit but it's bothering me more now
5:04 AM
Today was worse. I couldn't get a train of thought through without being interrupted. I want some thought self-defence or thought karate so I can still hold ground and be able to finish a sentence.
We figured out that Cat is a puppet master- and I was probably once upon a time puppeted for most of my pre-Tulpa life. This lasted for at least 2 years or longer.
5:28 AM
My guess is these issues come up because she has trained me to follow a stick and it's easy for me to fall for that.
